Monday, May 30, 2011

The Big Girl Bed: A Tale of Denial and Heartbreak

Once Upon A Time...
There was a precious baby named Mallory. She won hearts wherever she went with her smiles, giggles and all-around sparkling personality.

She had a sweet little bald head and the largest teeth this side of the Mississippi. She was a dream baby.

Then, out of nowhere... she started to grow into a big girl. Her mother and McPreacher father delighted in the big girl she was becoming but also felt so sad to see her growing up so fast. They wanted her to stay their little baby forever.

Then one day, she did something to prove to the world once and for all that she was NOT a baby anymore... she karate chopped two of the slats on her crib and broke them clean in half, rendering her crib completely unsafe.

With heavy hearts, two living-in-denial parents realized that their baby girl was growing up into a princess, and it was time for her to have a big girl bed.

If you listen very closely, you might just hear their hearts breaking.

Her parents searched the whole kingdom of Craig's List for a worthy bed for their princess. Such a precious princess needed an equally precious bed to rest her little head on.

Finally they found the perfect one. The McPreacher rode his noble steed, named Toyota all the way to the kingdom of Fullerton to acquire the new bed.

Behold now... the events that transpired on the eve of her christening into Big Girl Bed-Dom.